Transcending Attachment to Love

In the common parlance the words attachment and love are synonymously used. But when we look very close we realize they don’t mean the same.

Attachment is self-centered and has stings attached to it. We are attached to many people because we have many reasons for getting attached. A daughter is more attached to her father because he never scolds her and all the more gets lot of toys and chocolates. One is attached to the other because the other is helpful, resourceful, jovial, concerned, dependable and so on. In all these cases one is attached to the other because of some personal reasons. One is more concerned about his/her happiness in all these cases. Attachment cease to exist when the conditions are not satisfied. Then desperation and anger will occupy the space occupied by the attachment earlier.

See this story: In the aquarium of a palace there was a tortoise. The young prince used to enjoy watching it swimming in the water. As days passed by he started spending a lot of time playing with it. One day the prince found it topsy-turvy, motionless and floating at the top and showed it to the king. The king realized that it is dead. But not to disappoint the prince over the death of his pet the King ordered for a royal funeral to be arranged for the dead tortoise. He ordered for the music band and decorations. The prince was carried away by the arrangements and got fully excited. But then the king found to his surprise the tortoise was really not dead and moving about in the aquarium. With a great sigh of relief he told the prince that the tortoise is alive, to make him happy. To the shock of the king, the price told, “you kill it, let us proceed with the funeral”..

Was the price attached to the tortoise, which entertained him? Or he loved the tortoise? No doubt he had no love. Love never pains the loved. But attachment some times paints, as the attached has to continue to live up to the expectations to maintain the attachment.

Love on the other hand is selfless and unconditional. When one is in love with the other he / she is more concerned about the happiness and welfare of the other, like most of the parents to their children. In love, one tries to identify himself / herself with the loved and there is no expectation of a reciprocal act from the other side. Therefore, there is no chance of desperation or anger.

A person may have attachment to many and love to a few. As the proportion of love to attachment increase in a person he gets transformed into a saint. Remember there is a rule of nature that whatever you give will come back to you from somewhere. So the more we love others the more others will love us. The easiest way to be happy is to try to make others happy.